we hate tomatoes. we want to eradicate the seed from the earth. this site represents satire.
the original message board — 370 entries (2000 → 2003), restored from the archive.
One day, I was walking down the street, and this guy comes up to me and says "Hey".
why they hate tomatoes: As I have previously stated: I do not hate tomatoes. In fact, I believe that tomatoes are among the few truly non-evil items in existence these days.
The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... Very well, where do I begin? My Father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium.with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My Father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy...etc.
why they hate tomatoes: I think it's a few reasons. Number one being those soggy damn little seeds that seem to be everywhere at once and are almost impossible to pick off a chicken sandwich. I also hate the soggy attributes it lends to the bread on my chicken sandwich. I like tomato sauce, ketchup and salsa though, but only after I was able to fully disassociate these fine comestibles with the pure evil from whence they spawned.
tomatos go in everything everywhere you look; tomatoes AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
why they hate tomatoes: see above.
I moved out here so I wouldn't have to pick tomatoes on my relatives farms!!!
why they hate tomatoes: (no comment)
My dad grows tomato's... hundreds of them!!! EVERYWHERE TOMATOES!!!! So accidendtly poured Lye all over the ground... All the tomatoes died!!!! YES! SCORE ONE FOR THE GOOD GUYS!!!!
why they hate tomatoes: Because they are everwhere... you think, oh that looks good and *gasp* It has tomamtoes in it!
my grandmother used to grow tomatoes in her greenhouse. she died when i was very young (a non-tomato related incident), and i hardly remember her. a few years ago i worked in a small eatery. one of my jobs was slicing tomatoes (50 or so at a time). the smell always reminded me of my grandmother. for this reason, i like tomatoes.
why they hate tomatoes: (no comment)
I'm out to rid the world of tomatoes and to let the rest of society understand the nature of these horrid entities.
why they hate tomatoes: Once when I was a kid a neighbor boy smashed a tomato in my face. I was sickened and ran home crying. That night I became very very sick and had dreams of aliens carrying me off to thier mother ship. When I woke up I knew then and there that tomatoes are evil evil evil!
Ijust had to make an addition to my previous story, see things like ketchup are oake becuase the tomatoes have been "killed" before ingestion, they devils MUST be completely squashed to smitherines like in tomatoe paste for pizza of ketchup to be safe, if any, i mean any chunks are left there is still a risk of infection, therefor peopoe who enjoy ketchup on burgers etc. are somwhat safe but not totlly, the best defense is abstiance(from tomatos that is ;p)
why they hate tomatoes: (no comment)
i have always hated tomatos, my mom used tomakeme eat them upon punishment of death,i had to eat them, iwas caused to suffer, i have ocntinued to rally my peers to hate the disgusting beings but to no avail, they are still served on a regualr basis, sigh, anyway, it is my theory that tomatos are eitherthe spawn of satan that when ingested begin at once to take overyour mind, some poeple are immune to this rocess,like me, but very few are, the other theory is that they are aliens that go through
why they hate tomatoes: read above, the also tastelike shit, the devil culd have been smarter and used ice cream
I hate tomatos i hate tomatos i hate tomatos i hate tomatos i hate tomatos i hate tomatos i hate them!
why they hate tomatoes: They suck bad they suck bad they suck bad they suck bad they suck bad they suck bad they cuck bad im a queer im a queer
I ate a tomato peel once when i was a kid and puked all over the place. And now my mom cant even remember if i like them and keeps asking me if i would like some...i dont puke, but give her this expression on my face that looks as though my hand was jammed in a blender that i cant turn off.
why they hate tomatoes: they suck ass....they are all pretty and happy on the outside and evil and slimy on the inside.
I hate many RED foods.
why they hate tomatoes: Because they are RED!
I'm petitioning the phobialist guy to help me get the fear of tomatoes official phobia status. If you want to help you can email him here.
why they hate tomatoes: Although, I think there should be a named medical condition for anyone who actually likes tomatoes too.
I can't remember, for the lights of me, a single occasion in the past 24 years of my existence that I ever ate a Tomato. I can barely even bring myself to touch it. An ex-GF had a cool-down period of about 30 minutes after eating a tomato to get a kiss.
why they hate tomatoes: That yucky jello around those seeds, that god-awful stench it has, the fact they're almost everywhere, in short, they're the least aesthetic fruit or vegetable there is. I'm sure they also cause cancer or some other terrible ailment...
If you set your tomatoes free then you release all of this hate.
why they hate tomatoes: Hate and Love are the same thing.
its...its...its just too awful!!!
why they hate tomatoes: because thy're out to get me....its either me or them and i intend it to be me who survives...once i put my master plan into action they'll ALL DIE!!! NIYA HA HA!
I dont have any Aunty Tomatoes.
why they hate tomatoes: I'm not a big fan of dishes that ask for hot tomatoes, like putting slices of tomato on pizza... Or to see dripping pieces of tomato in spagetti sauce. But cold tomatoes are always OK in my book. So I really DO like tomatoes, just don't cook them!!!
I was attacked by a tomato at the age of ten. I remember it clearly. I was climbing a tree (of friendly apples), minding my own business when a tomato rolled up and demanded money. I didn't have any as I'd spent it all on sweets. The next thing I knew I was lying in the middle of the street with tomato-stained clothes and old people stood around me asking "Are you alright, love?"
why they hate tomatoes: They're evil. And the look like peaches in the right lighting conditions.
One day, my dad was slicing up a tomato to put in a sandwich, and he offered me a slice, I said sure, took one bite, and I was addicted, I loved it SO much that I almost ate his entire tomato
why they hate tomatoes: Um, I don't hate tomatoes, I love 'em! :)
I'm against lots of things. I'm anti-globalization, anti-McDonalds, anti-pop music, anti-racism... People often call me Anti-everything. But anti-tomatoes? Why? You guys are crazy :-) Keep going!
why they hate tomatoes: I don't, he he..
Last night, someone offered me a tomato...so I punched them in the head.
why they hate tomatoes: (no comment)
Back in December of 1998 I campaigned to bring you over to the pro-tomato faction. I still nurture small hope that we can, someday, stand together and at the very least, find some level of indifference regarding the tomato. Trust me, there are many tomato related creations that I cannot condone. I think I've covered the clam-tomato juice hybrid and I may as well mention the beef-tomato juice thing that makes my hair stand up on end and, frankly, is giving me the goose flesh as I write this.
why they hate tomatoes: Look, I don't hate them. Tomatoes are as american as...America. Ketchup is American. Bloody Marys are American. Tomato sauce is...Italian, but certainly consumed in greater quantities in...AMERICA. The tomato is a patriotic fruitberyvgetable thing. Enjoy it, damnit.
they're stupid, ask christie
why they hate tomatoes: ask christie
The tomato in the original shape is NOT TASTY!
why they hate tomatoes: The juice is YACH
I love Tomatoes
why they hate tomatoes: I dont