REFUSAL CARD
print this page. cut along the outside of each card. the certificate goes in your wallet, the big one goes on the table — or into the hand of the person who just asked whether you would like tomato with that. no reason is required. dislike is sufficient.
— card one: the certificate —
antitomato.com · office of refusals · est. 1998
CERTIFICATE OF TOMATO REFUSAL
this certifies that
has, on this day of , 20, refused the tomato: the fruit, the sauce, the paste, the sun-dried impostor and every salad that arrives without being asked about.
no reason is required. dislike is sufficient. the holder is not obliged to explain, to taste, or to be reasonable about it.
antitomato.com
— card two: the table card —
NO TOMATO.
please hold the tomato.
if it is on the plate, it is not on the order. if it is on the side, it is not wanted. if it is “just a garnish,” it is still a tomato.
the small card is sized to fold in half and live in a wallet. the certificate is the one to produce at a barbecue. both are free, both may be copied, and neither has ever persuaded a restaurant.